Wednesday, May 4, 2011

bittersweet.

This mother's day is different for me.

I'm looking forward to the homeade cards, the sweet little gifts the kids pick out for me, maybe breakfast in bed or some flowers.

But it's been hard for me to get very excited because it will also be the first mothers day without my Mom.

As the day grows nearer my heart aches a little more.

I'm missing you, Mom.

57 comments:

mama marchand said...

I'm sorry. :(

Nikki @ Saving For A Rainy Day said...

I'm so sorry. I cannot say I know how you feel but it reminds me that Mother's Day will be hard for my family too. My youngest sister passed away a few months back. It will be the first Mothers Day for my little niece and nephew without their mom.What would be her 27th birthday follows only 2 days later.

I realize now that Holidays are not always joyous occasions for everyone :(

Marcie said...

I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel as that day creeps closer. Hold tight to your children and I will remember you in prayer and all others that are spending this day withour their mothers.

Pink Slippers said...

I just lost my Dad on April 20th of this year. Wow. I can not believe how much losing a parent hurts. I know he is in heaven but I miss him....a lot.

Jaime said...

I lost my mom this past November and this is the first mother's day that I will spend without her. I'm missing my mom like crazy. I will be praying for you this mother's day! God Bless!

Tammy said...

I'm sorry. :( My grandma passed away in October, so it will be my mom's first Mother's Day without her mom too. I've heard the year after a loved one passes away referred to as a "year of firsts", and that it gets "easier" after the first year.

{{{hugs}}}

sunshineyou said...

I don't think the feeling will ever go away...I lost my mom 8 years ago, and every Mother's Day is the same for me where it seems I miss her more each year. But it's also sweeter because of my baby (soon to be babies). They make it better.

Cozyflier said...

Sorry for your empty feeling Erin. Ministering spirits being sent. Hugs.
Carrie

cheryl said...

(((Erin)))
I'm sorry. I know exactly how you feel, I lost my mom just last month.... it was unexpected & my parents were together for almost 46yrs. They live in a different state & I still find that somedays I feel it isn't real. All the Mother's day commercials have made it very hard.
I'll keep you in my prayers

Heidi Jo said...

it has got to be so very difficult, always....but specifically right now! praying that you find great joy in your own motherhood and in remembrance!

Kelly said...

I'm so sorry for your loss... I lost my mom prematurely (i was only 27) last year right before Mother's Day, so this will be my second Mother's Day without her. It is definitely a hard time of year. My thoughts are with you!

Crystal said...

God bless you darling. I will be praying for you.

Crystal
www.domesticbutnotmartha.com

Sheyb said...

Oh friend. I am thinking of you and praying for you in this time. love you!!

xoxo

Mar said...

Saying a prayer for you, Erin...God's blessings on your day.

S Club Mama said...

oh honey, I'm sorry. I can't imagine. Many prayers for this Mother's Day for you.

Kimberly said...

Erin, this is my 2nd mother's day without mine. I wouldn't say it is easier but getting more used to it. Just think how proud she would be of you!

Melissa said...

I know how you feel and will be praying for you. My first Mother's Day as a very pregnant mom-to-be was my second Mother's Day without my own mom. It was very bittersweet. I still miss her every day, but I can say that time (about 9 years for me now) has helped the memories to be more sweet and less bitter.

Praying for you!

Inspired Wire Jewelry said...

I understand. I am sorry for your loss. Hug the little ones extra for your mom.
This will be my first Father's Day without my Dad.
Prayers.

Cil A. said...

This will be the third one without my mother. I had a difficult relationship with her but I do miss her and think about her every day. I still can't believe that she is gone. It will always be hard but try to focus on all else that is good in your life.

The Cohen's said...

I'm so sorry. While this is only my third Mother's Day, it's the 4th Mother's day without my mom. I always miss her more around this time of year. Just know that she'd be proud of you, and proud what a great mother YOU are to your children. I will be praying for you.

emily said...

sweet friend...such a hard time, i'm sure.
as i'm dealing with my mom's sickness, the thought hit me last night that this could be the last mothers day with her.
just not something we want to deal with.

thinking of you this weekend. enjoy your babies and being celebrated as a mother.

va_grown said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to all! This is my 4th year since losing my mom too young (she was only 47, I was only 27) and it's been a drag on my mind and heart lately too, coming up on the 5th anniversary...

It's so hard to be happy BEING a mom, when all you can think is that you miss YOUR mom.

Thoughts and prayers!

SoCal*CowGurl said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I also lost my mom this year. I have honestly sort of been dreading this weekend. Shopping for Mother's Day cards for my boyfriend's grandma and mom had me melting down in the store. We will get through this day by remember all of the wonderful Mother's Days we had the amazing women that we were lucky enough to call "mom". God bless :)

Lene said...

{{{Hugs}}}

My Mom passed away 17 years ago and Mother's Day and other holidays are hard, but it is also a time to be thankful for the person she was and the person I am because of her.

Web Designz by Kristi said...

I am so sorry! I feel your pain and sorrow - This will be my 14th Mother's day without my mom. It helps being a mom - I honor her by planting my garden with my children, just they way we did when she was here. Blessings to you!

gina aka CPCAKEmama said...

Prayers and hugs. My mother passed away on Easter, unexpectedly, so it will be heard on me too. A day full of prayers for sure. Thankful for my husband and little ladies to brighten my day.

Laura @ live.laugh.photograph said...

I am so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine what you must be feeling. My thoughts and prayers for you on this Mother's Day :)

Elizabeth said...

Last year was my first Mother's Day without my mom and it was so difficult. I really just wanted to ignore the whole thing, but that would have meant not letting my girlies celebrate me...like you I looked forward to that, but missed my own mom so much.

My thoughts are with you - I try to tell myself that I am lucky to have had a mom that I miss so much. Doesn't make the hurt go away though.

xoxo Elizabeth

Julie Frank said...

I'm so sorry:( I feel very fortunate to still have my mom, but I do dread the day I don't. I can only imagine how difficult it must be. I hope your sweet kids give you some extra big hugs to help you through this Mother's day.

Caroline said...

I'm sorry, this will be my first mother's day without my Mom also. :( I'm not really looking forward to it, even though I have four sweet children that will do something special for me! I miss her so much.

Laura said...

I am so sad for you, but glad that you can share your feelings! I hope you find some time and space to honor your Mom in your own special way this year. Hugs to you!

Lynn said...

Hugs! I am so sorry. This is the first Mother's Day for my husband without his mom too.

Halo G said...

i'm so sorry for your loss. i don't know what it is like to lose my mom, but this is my 8th mother's day without my first child. i wish i could say it doesn't hurt anymore. so far it still does even though i have two more little card makers to smother me in hugs and kisses. there is still someone missing; there always will be. speaking as the mother to a missing child, i truly believe that her love for you transcends time and space. do something special to wish her a happy mothers day. it will not go unnoticed (by her and by your own children). again, i'm so sorry.

Karla said...

Oh no :( I am so sorry. I can't even imagine how hard that must be. Will definitely send up a prayer for you.

The Shumate Family said...

Prayers and hugs to you and hope you enjoy your Mother's Day with your precious children..

Bev Cox said...

I lost my mom this past October. When I hear a commercial or receive an email regarding Mother's Day it is so hard. Mother's Day will never be the same.

Teri said...

Hugs to you, Erin! May your Mother's Day be a peaceful and restful one for you this year.

tongpjc said...

Like you this is my first Mother's Day without my Mum and my hubby won't get home until later in the day. My Mum had a difficult time with a 14 year journey with Alzheimers, so although it is hard and I have been weepy this week I also want to be thankful that her suffering is over, and just give thanks for the blessing that was my Mum. I am adopted and have never looked for my birth parents and as I've gotten older with children of my own I also give thanks for sacrifice made that allowed me to be raised by the Mum and Dad and brothers I grew up with. I'm sure your family will know how hard this day is and will do all the can to make it special. Take care, Catherine

Jamie said...

Oh Erin, I am so sorry. My heart aches for you. I'll pray that God can bless you with peace in your heart and wonderful memories of your mother this Mother's Day and for many years to come.

aoi said...

Erin, I know that your mom is smiling from Heaven..and that she is so proud of you! I feel you, this will be my third Mother's Day without my Mom. Our heart aches that seem to grow a little more each day because our appreciation for Moms are also growing each day as we mother our children. Love hurts...because it is so wonderful beyond words..May God bless you and your wonderful Mom on this Mother's Day! Hugs! Aoi

laura said...

I'm very sorry - will be sending special prayers and thoughts your way for you and your family - blessings - Laura.

Gabriela said...

I'm holding you close in my heart and with prayers, Erin. Hold your beautiful babies and kiss them, hold them close, inhale deeply and commit their extraordinary scent to your memory. I send you hugs.

six chicks said...

I am so sorry. Heartfelt thoughts and prayers for you. Hug your little ones and remember your love for your Mom. Blessings-

Mom2Da'Gorgeouses said...

((Hugs)) I cannot even begin to imagine life without my Mom. Praying God sends you peace & comfort to get through the day.

MicheyMoo said...

Oh Erin, I remember praying daily for you and your family during the time that your Mama passed away. I understand that this day will be both a blessing and also bittersweet for you. The "first" are always the hardest to face.
Personally, I'm determined to make this Mother's Day a beautiful day with my own Mama as I'm painfully aware that she probably won't be with us for next year's.
Thinking of you and your Father and the rest of the family during this bittersweet day. Much love. Michey xxx

Tasha said...

hugs. i still have my Mom but lost my grandma who i was extremely close to ON Mother's Day several years back. i was with her when she passed. bittersweet. every mother's day is just as hard on my heart as the rest but time does help me go through it more smoothly.

Elaine A. said...

I'm so sorry. Hugs and prayers for you Erin.

Rach said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel. My mom passed away almost 13 years ago now. One mothers day that was particularly hard, I went and bought a boquet of her favorite flowers - one for each year that she had been gone - and took them to people in my life who really meant something to me. It helped me honor and remember her and also thank those who have helped me in my life. My heart goes out to you. My only advice is to pray, and find a way to honor and remember her and keep her memory alive. I wish I could give you a big hug.

Kate said...

{{{HUGS}}}

Jennifer said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom almost three years ago. I miss her so much everyday but the cards and constant reminders that she's not here is so hard. I pray your children shower you with love. My sweet son helped me so much that first Mother's Day.

Lelainia N. Lloyd said...

Maybe it would comfort you to honour another mother figure in your life. I know it's not the same as your own mum (we only get one) but we all have special women in our lives who help us by love and example to become better women and mothers ourselves. Maybe you could honour one of those woman this year and in doing so, honour your mother's memory.

Just think how meaningful it would be for someone to get an unexpected call or a card from you letting them know that they've made a difference in your life.

I just mailed mine off to a dear friend who means the world to me and is an exemplarary mother herself. She's not expecting it, but I know it will mean the world to her.

Jessica said...

i will be thinking of you this mother's day. i'm honestly not looking forward to it. this mother's day will mark the 5th anniversary of my mother's passing. kinda like a double whammy. but i am trying to be positive & just be thankful for the years i did have with her.. and also for my son & the new baby on the way. but i honestly just don't want to celebrate it.

The Chubby Dove said...

I know exactly how you feel.

I lost my mom in August after her 12.5 year battle with breast cancer.

I'll be thinking of you.

xo

PS. Planning to wear my Mom's Nest necklace on Sunday. So thankful for our two hatchlings.

Linda said...

It will be a bittersweet day, I know. This Mother's Day will be the second anniversary of my Mother's death. My memories of what a wonderful person she was is what I will hang on to on Sunday! I know you can do that too!

Becky said...

Erin,I stopped in for a minute to check out your blog.
I see that it is your first Mother's Day without your mom.
I fully understand the sadness,and I will keep you in my prayers.
I'm fighting hard also to just get through it.
My mom passed away Feb.9th.and I am having a tough time myself.
I'm trying to remember all the fun times we had together.
I hope you are surrounded by those you love and who love you.
Do something fun for yourself.I know your mom would want you to enjoy your day the best you can.
Love and prayers from a gal in Ohio who grieves with you...Becky

Becky said...

Erin I just read that this is your first Mother's Day without your mother.I am so sorry for your loss and will keep you in my prayers.
I understand how difficult it is.I lost my mother on Feb.9th.
Just do the best you can and know that a gal in Ohio has you in her thoughts and prayers...Blessings,Becky

Sarah-Anne said...

((hugs))